Monday, June 12, 2017

Run For God


The pain hurts to the very depth of your soul and breaks your heart in half.   You wake up in pain and go to bed in the same pain you woke up in.   With each step you take during the day, you attempt to put a smile on your face, but in reality, you are are always on the verge of tears.  

You feel alone in your pain and can't seem to move forward.   You seek counseling and although it does help, there is still an underlying thought to attempt to understand why someone would want to hurt you in such a way.    

The reality is we may never know why some people purposely hurt others.   I read this quote recently that states,  "Hurting people hurt others".   It doesn't answer the "why" question, however, it does help to put the pain in perspective.  

In the last few years, my family has lived through betrayal.   It doesn't do anyone any justice to rehash all the specifics, but what I can say is that the pain hurt worse than anything I personally have ever gone through.  

The way for me to help heal, forgive, and move forward in a way that serves me best is to turn to the one that knows how to help me through it all - God.  

Each week, my husband and I spend time in the adoration chapel at our church.   We dedicate one hour of time each week to sit in front of the blessed sacrament and pray.   It never ceases to amaze me how I will think about what I am going to pray for before I go and then during the hour's time, God has other plans that I never would have thought about.  

One particular week and about one year after this situation occurred that hurt me deeply, I felt the urge to join a program called "Run for God".   The program is a twelve week Bible Study that parallels faith and endurance all while preparing to run in a 5K.    Each week consists of Bible readings, listening to someone talk about their faith journey, and then pounding the pavement.   To be honest, I had started the program a few years earlier and decided that running just wasn't for me.  

"I really don't like to run", I said to myself as this urge to join this program again came to my mind. "I tried this once and it didn't work", I said to myself as I sat there.   "I can barely run one minute; let alone a 5K" as I kept fighting this urge.  

"This isn't about you; it's about me and what is good for you".   This is what I heard as I continued to strive to come up with excuses on why I shouldn't do this program again.

Knowing how to listen to what God is attempting to teach me, I joined the program "Run for God" last summer and again this past winter.   As soon as another class comes around, it will be another opportunity for me to learn what I need.  

Let's be clear - running is difficult.  

It's a struggle for me, but yet with every step I take, I am running towards healing.    I am running towards forgiveness of not only the ones that have hurt me, but to ones that I myself have hurt.

I am not a fast runner, yet with each stride, I pray for whomever comes to my mind with each step.  

Continuing to run on a regular basis has helped me get into better shape physically, but even more so emotionally.   You may be sore from the run, but no more than sitting and doing nothing.  

The fact of the matter is we will all be hurt at some point in our lives.   The movement of running has helped me through this pain.  

We can each choose to dwell in the pain or move through the pain with the one who can help us through it all.   We can run from it or we can run through it.  

I ran with my arms open wide in his love and mercy.    I ran with an open mind about seeing that we are all sinners that can hurt others.  

I ran with the one gift I could give myself.    I forgave even when I never heard the words, "I'm sorry".  

I will always Run For God and him alone.